Will a filter actually keep you or your family safe from porn? Unfortunately porn filters can create a false sense of security, since there’s no fool-proof porn filter. In fact, there are actually several underlying reasons why your porn filter won’t work.
For example, in the heat of the moment, tech-savvy minds are brilliant at scouting out loopholes in porn filters.
Even when you’re fighting hard to quit looking at porn, in a moment of weakness you may find a way to view things online that you later regret.
That’s why it’s helpful to identify key motivations and reasons for bypassing a porn filter. Let’s drag them out of hiding and name them. Knowledge gives you power to fight porn strategically!
Table of Contents
- The young and curious aren’t getting trustworthy answers about sex.
- Porn promises to meet your emotional needs online.
- Why your porn filter won’t work: habitual porn use.
- Gen Z and millennials are very tech-savvy.
- Some think porn doesn’t really hurt anyone.
- 2 things you can do today to beat porn (when your porn filter has failed you).
1. The young and curious aren’t getting trustworthy answers about sex.
Curiosity is a powerful reason why your porn filter won’t work, if you’re a parent trying to protect your children from porn.
To be clear, natural curiosity about sex and relationships isn’t wrong. So if young people don’t get their questions answered by a trusted adult, they’re likely to turn to the wrong places for information.
Budding human sexuality is a powerful force of nature. And learning more about sex is like an itch that has to be scratched.
That’s also why many young adults turn to porn to “improve” or spice up their sex life. (For example, millennials are the biggest spenders on porn.)
The harsh reality? Porn provides a horrible sex education.
What porn teaches about sex
Think about it! Porn is fake, fake, fake! Actors “act”, because that is what they are paid to do.
In reality, porn tricks people into pursuing very unrealistic, fake versions of sex!! And toxic information can actually destroy people.
The false stories created in your mind by viewing porn will harm real relationships.
2. Porn promises to meet your emotional needs online.
Today we Google almost everything. Without realizing it, though, our technology has fueled deep loneliness.
A U.S. survey post-pandemic revealed 17% still feel alone:
“44 million lonely people is a problem worth attention.” The Washington Post
So many are looking for love and compassion online. Our built-in human desire for connection and validation are legitimate reasons why your porn filter won’t work.
To self-soothe feelings of loneliness some turn to porn. Life is hard. Without needed support, the stresses of life can sink us.
Viewing porn may also make you feel powerful and validated.
Especially if you’re neurodivergent, you might feel like you live on the fringes of society. Porn may be validating in some respects, because it’s easy to find a genre of porn for any body type.
3. Why your porn filter won’t work: habitual porn use.
“I started to bypass filters and applications and learned how to cheat the system –
just so that I could put myself in a depressive and angry state for some pleasure.
I didn’t know how to stop. And I didn’t want to.” – Cole’s true story of being hooked on porn
Porn fires up powerful pleasure connections in the reward center of your brain.
According to what’s known as Hebb’s rule, what fires together, wires together.
If you train your brain over time to seek pleasure with porn, it’s also going to take time and real long-term effort to change.
But you can rewire your brain toward healthy habits!
Secrets of real hope for habitual porn users
So how do you deal with powerful craving for anything unhealthy, like porn use? You need a plan – specific action steps! Here’s why.
Your amazing brain knows you can find a way around the porn filter.
Your porn filter won’t work, because habitual porn use isolates people. A porn filter won’t help you beat secrecy.
Instead you need connections! You need to ask a real person to help you.
In fact, when reaching for any goal, people often learn better when practicing new skills with a friend or mentor!
Rewiring your brain works better with teamwork
To make this brain rewiring much easier, using additional tools like accountability software help you stop hiding your online activity.
Having a caring accountability partner you choose is a game-changer for many! Accountability partners help you rewire your brain to enjoy real connections.
Many also find great help from a porn addiction group, where people face the common challenges of fighting porn together.
4. Gen Z and millennials are very tech-savvy.
A simple reason why your porn filter won’t work may be you or your teen’s personal level of tech-savvy!
You might be so good at coding, programming, or navigating tech, that porn filters actually present a fun challenge.
The thrill of the challenge combined with a craving for porn? That’s a potential recipe for disaster!
We all need outside motivation and accountability to keep ourselves honest. A good accountability partner is someone who knows your tricks, and will call you out kindly.
5. Some think porn really doesn’t hurt anyone.
Without serious motivation to change, most of us keep doing what we want to do, right?
Someone else telling you that porn is bad for you just won’t cut it. Being required to use a porn filter or blocker feels controlling. That’s why your porn filter won’t work with your teens. If you’re a teen, you want proof!
You must be personally convinced that porn harms other human beings. Here’s plenty of proof for you to research and consider.
Porn preys on vulnerable people
Our research shows that the massively wealthy and powerful porn industry routinely exploits and harms other people.
Behind the scenes though, porn actors are often victims of childhood sexual abuse and feel personally worthless.
Being mistreated feels “normal” to porn actors and sex-trafficked victims. The porn industry as a whole is not “sex-positive”.
Porn fuels sexual violence
Also the porn industry exploits people by perpetrating image based sexual abuse where explicit photos have been leaked online. Then these photos are bought and distributed by major porn outlets.
Porn is harming the younger generation
Porn use is now fueling sexual violence in high schools and on social media. Porn has become a terrible sex-ed teacher, even for elementary school kids.
In the UK, a major study showed that schools are seeing injuries they’ve never seen before, including choking.
But porn actors look happy…
Gentle reminder. All actors “act” the way they are supposed to in order to get paid.
Consider this. Would you watch porn if it was your son, daughter, or best friend on video? Your wife or your mother?
Would it be okay to treat them the way porn portrays?
2 things you can do today to beat porn (when your porn filter has failed you)
1. Change your mindset.
If you currently use porn, remind yourself daily that the porn industry mistreats people. Even worse, it teaches that mistreatment is acceptable.
Porn teaches everyone that people are objects to be used and sold, not people to be treasured and loved.
Wouldn’t you rather treat people with dignity and respect?
We believe in YOU!
We believe you want to become the best version of yourself.
That’s why we offer a better solution than just a porn filter that won’t work long-term.
2. Choose to become accountable to someone else.
Your porn filter won’t work for you if it’s forced on you, my friend. Real change has to be your choice.
You choose to do better, be better, and love better when you quit porn.
Becoming a better person often means reaching out to a friend for help to meet your goals.
With our accountability software, you choose a trusted person to be accountable to for your online activity. Tell them your goal is to quit porn, and you want their help to meet your goal!
Our accountability software makes it MUCH easier to quit porn. It runs quietly in the background, helping you be accountable for everywhere you visit online. It sends weekly reports to your chosen accountability partner.
95% of our customers find their porn use immediately drops drastically! Just knowing someone has your back and is watching your online activity? What a powerful motivation to change!!
Click below to get started right away.
14-Day Free Trial
Protection From Pornography
Change your habits, change your life: Start our 14-day free trial to help get rid of pornography for good.
Works Cited
Small Groups Online: Support Groups for Men and Women, https://smallgroupsonline.com/?utm_source=website&utm_medium=landing-page&utm_campaign=SGO-referral&utm_content=various&utm_term=EA-followers. Accessed 30 May 2023.
Chalabi, Mona. “Porn filters: 12 reasons why they won’t work (and 3 reasons why they might).” The Guardian, 8 August 2013, https://www.theguardian.com/politics/reality-check/2013/aug/08/porn-filters-evidence-for-against. Accessed 30 May 2023.
Hunter, Tatum. “Technology’s role in the ‘loneliness epidemic.’” The Washington Post, 11 April 2023, https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/04/11/technology-loneliness-role/. Accessed 30 May 2023.
Jenkins, Ivy. “This generation loves porn: How is it affecting their perception of intimacy.” Daily Sundial, 7 March 2022, https://sundial.csun.edu/168783/print-editions/this-generation-loves-porn-how-is-it-affecting-their-perception-of-intimacy/. Accessed 30 May 2023.
Reese, Phillip. “Young people are having less sex than their parents did at their age. Researchers explore why.” PhillyVoice, 26 May 2023, https://www.phillyvoice.com/sex-young-people-trends-millennials-generation-z-/. Accessed 30 May 2023.
